Day 1 of my new weight loss
journey. It's time to get things moving as much as possible. I have
joined a 90 day challenge through my Beach Body Coach. Unfortunately,
I have managed to injure my back, once again, so my workouts are on
hold for at least the next week. I start physical therapy on Tuesday.
However, I will NOT let this get me down like I have in the past. I
am NOT giving up. This is it for me. I am GOING to do this, and I am
going to this right.
I want to be fit. I want to be healthy. I want to fit into my pre-Madison jeans. And most of all, I NEED to fit into my wedding dress. It is being given to me. It is a size 8. I haven't been in a size 8 since I was a freshman in college. I know I can do this.
I want to be fit. I want to be healthy. I want to fit into my pre-Madison jeans. And most of all, I NEED to fit into my wedding dress. It is being given to me. It is a size 8. I haven't been in a size 8 since I was a freshman in college. I know I can do this.
How do I feel deep down
inside? How do I feel about myself? I am disgusted with myself. I
have a lot of...borderline hatred towards myself. It hurts to know I
chose for myself to look this way. I feel so unattractive and
ugly...I feel like no one should have to look at me...my body. I am
so sick of not having any clothes that fit me properly. My jeans are
either too small, or too big. I almost never get dressed anymore
because of my clothes not fitting the right way. But, I also refuse
to buy more clothes other than a few shirts here and there. I have
zero self confidence at the moment, it is pretty much non-existant.
My hubby says I have no reason to feel like this, but I don't think
he understands what I think about myself.
I try not to wonder if I am
on the right path or not. When I start to wonder, is when I start to
doubt myself. Then all bets are off. I KNOW I am on the right path
now. My mind is made up. I am refusing to look back now. No matter
what anyone says, no matter what happens.
There were no pros for the direction I was going. Plenty of cons: Chronic back pain from carrying around so much extra weight, no energy to keep up with my daughter, out of breathe going up ONE flight of stairs. I could go on FOREVER, but I won't. No sense in dwelling on what WAS, it's time to start focusing on what IS.
In the next 90 days, I want to start feeling better about myself. I want to be at the 90 day mark saying “That was AWESOME! Let's do it again!”. I want more energy to run around with my kid. I want to feel GOOD about myself. Most of all, I want to be on the healthy and fit path.
There were no pros for the direction I was going. Plenty of cons: Chronic back pain from carrying around so much extra weight, no energy to keep up with my daughter, out of breathe going up ONE flight of stairs. I could go on FOREVER, but I won't. No sense in dwelling on what WAS, it's time to start focusing on what IS.
In the next 90 days, I want to start feeling better about myself. I want to be at the 90 day mark saying “That was AWESOME! Let's do it again!”. I want more energy to run around with my kid. I want to feel GOOD about myself. Most of all, I want to be on the healthy and fit path.
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